YUMMM!!!!!

"Steaks and stroganoff have driven me away.

Had my mother cooked spaghetti squash, I'd have opted to stay."

-not old german folk song

It Started With Lo

When Laura and I were young, we bit our finger nails. I really enjoyed biting mine... not nearly so much as she enjoyed biting hers... but it was fun. We both used to grow ours out just for a nice, SATISFYING nail-bite.

She took it to a whole new level when she started eyeballing mom's fingernails ("unbitten territory!!!") and would try to bite them. She was in her teens...

She left levels behind when she started using fake nails just so she wouldn't have to grow her own out for a satisfying bite.

Somewhere, somehow, Brenda (littlest sister...) picked it up. Can't think of where she might have learned this habit since Laura was still living there... hmmm...

Now Clark is biting his nails. ...I'm assuming because Aunt Bee does all the time and everything is y'know... always her fault ;p

And now, Hank, in an effort to be like her big brother, is pretending to bite her nails. She doesn't really get it quite yet. But she does enjoy snacking on mine.

THANKS A LOT LO! You should be banished from impressionable young children for the rest of your days!

If you need someone to watch Mel while you work on your disgusting habit, I'm here for you!!!! Who wouldn't be!?!?

A Few of My Favorite (and Least Favorite) Things

Like: Nap Time
Dislike: People "opting out" of naptime
Happy Compromise: Kids in bed by 8

Like: Eating watermelons by myself (I read a food-combining rule that melons should always be eaten "alone")
Dislike: Seeding watermelons
Happy Compromise: Those seeds were quite crunchy and tasty! Now you all know how this happened... http://campbellschunkysoup.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html#7780908602773186845

Like: The satisfaction of eating the WHOLE melon! (it was a personal melon...)
Dislike: Fruitflies

Like: Killing fruitflies
Dislike: Being unable to catch them... even though they are right in my face... trying to get to all the melon juice covering my chin and arms.

Like: Working up a sweat to discourage the fruitflies from being my visual aura.
Dislike: Houseflies

Like: Killing houseflies (or should I say houseWIFE flies?)
Dislike: They won't LAND!

Like: Long showers! With happy fruity scented shampoos and lotions!!!
Dislike: Fruit flies.

Lending a Housekeeping Han

There are way too many words, so unless you know HER... you'll never know. All I know is that life is beautiful just because she is in it. She is the sweetest, most lovely, joyful, obedient, trusting, most special person I've ever met and I can't believe she is my beautiful little girl! We named her well when we named her Happy Hannah! My little Hankie-pie. If you have a single flaw, or have ever had a less than lovely moment, you've never let me in on the secret.

"OOH! It makes noise!
...I think even more noise than yours!"

"My own apron? In my size!?!? YOU'RE KIDDING!"

Airing Our Dirty Laundry

I just had a brilliant idea!
I'm going to get rid of all but one laundry-load of my clothes.
And then I'll throw out my dresser and my hamper!

When the dryer is empty from me wearing all my clothes straight out of it, I'll simply start the wash cycle on my new "hamper" and then throw them all in my new "dresser" to dry!

Anybody know where I can get another Dresser/Hamper set so Ian and the kids won't keep throwing all my clothes on the couch so they can wash theirs? (yeah right... Ian or the kids do their own laundry? That should tip you off this whole post is just a silly way for me to avoid doing any more loads during naptime today.)

Phonics for Hungry 3-year Olds and Lessons for Young Ladies of Good Taste

Okay, this is one super hard to type post! Instead of typing out the phonetics when they were said, I am just going to have you say the sounds of the letters instead of the actual letter themselves when they are in quotation marks. Example: A says "A" as in apple. B says "B" as in bike.
Here is a practice sentence! When Hank wants a bite of food she says "A" like Apple, not "O" like Octopus... or most people for that matter!

Got the hang of it? Good! Here is the story!

We were sitting at a lonely dinner, just the kids and I, and to make conversation, I picked up a hard-boiled egg and asked Clark "what letter do you think egg starts with?"
Clark: I don't know.
Me: Egg starts with E! E says "e" like egg! Egg is spelled E-G-G. E says "e," G says "g."
"E" -- "G" ... "E" - "G," "E" "G" ... EGG!
Clark: And E says "e" like CLARK-TOMATO!
Me: Laughs. No, Tomato is spelled T-O-M-A-T-O. (sound it out like I did above... you get the idea :))
Clark: How about Banana Chip!
Me: (thinking... do I dare start on blends or do I go through another long word??!?)
"B" "A" "N" "A" "N" "A"...

At this point, HANK starts to join in! I'm still looking at Clark helping him through it, but every time I say "A," she's right there with me! "A!" "A!" "A!"
I looked over to congratulate her on being so-o-o smart, and the poor dear is leaning as far as she can over the table, pointing to more banana chips (her new favorite), begging for more!

So, here is what I learned from the session:

E says "e" as in Clark-tomato

A says "a" as in FEED ME!

That Old Dishwasher!

I've heard it said that if you spend a lot of time with someone, you start to look like them, talk like them, and yes... act like them.

Apparently my mom has spent WAY to much time with her old broken down dishwasher, because she's starting to act just like it. Noisy, splashly, takes forever...

Thankfully she doesn't look like a massive square and sit under the counter sulking about how broken she is all day.

...yet.